The Girl Who Can Fly...

There is a girl who can fly.... 
She can sore to great heights and feel as though she is jumping over the moon.
Her dream to be great and to live her passion is the reason for her glorious wings.

This girl could't always fly.
She struggled. She fell behind. She fought hard to find her way. She never gave up. 

This girl was diagnosed at a young age with Dyslexia. This language processing disorder can hinder reading, writing, spelling and sometimes even speaking. Dyslexia is not a sign of poor intelligence or laziness. It is also not the result of impaired vision. Children and adults with dyslexia simply have a neurological disorder that causes their brains to process and interpret information differently. 

School was a burden for this girl. She struggled every night to finish homework. She repeatedly did not pass the Standardized Tests, which resulted in her being placed in remedial reading classes. School became something she hated. 

But this girl is strong. She struggled. She fell behind. She fought hard to find her way. She n e v e r gave up.

And this girl found her wings. She found the wind that would lift her to high places that would help her achieve her passion in life.

Her wings were not sparkly or incandescent. Her wings did not shimmer in the sky. They were not the colors of the rainbow.

No. These wings were dirty, hairy, smelly, and had four legs. These wings were covered with saddles, bits, halters, and bridles. 


The wings that made this girl fly were horses. 

Horses allowed this girl to be all that she could be. Horses did not care if she could read, or write, or speak well. Horses did not care that she was in an intensive reading class for the 6th year in a row. Horses did not care if she struggled to make passing grades in school.

But, horses did give her the wind to make her fly. Horses became her life, her passion, her reason for living and breathing. Horses have allowed her to be the best at something.

This girl was the #1 4-H High Point Senior Equitation Rider in the State of Florida her senior year of high school. She is a blue ribbon horse rider. She is so darn good.

Horses allowed the idea of attending college become a reality. She now rides for the Equestrian Team at St. Andrews University in North Carolina. She is on the team that is heading to Pennsylvania for the IHSA National Horse Show. She is living her dream.

This girl is my younger sister, Emilee. "Emma" as I call her, and "Wilson" as she calls me. She is also the reason why I have chosen to pursue my Master's Degree in Reading Education. This girl found her wings, and because of her I want to be a part of the journey for students who struggle with Reading disabilities. 

This weekend, she competes in her first ever National Horse Show with the rest of her team from St. Andrews University. I'm so proud of her and all she has accomplished. I wish I could be there to cheer her on! Go get that blue ribbon!

This girl is unstoppable. This girl doesn't give up. This girl is determined.

Put this girl on the back of a horse, and be ready to watch her fly...

All my love to you Emma.

Pencils, Paper, and Patience.

My favorite question of all time is... What do you want to be when you grow up?
I ALWAYS knew the answer to that. I've always wanted to be a teacher. 

I love to teach. Always have. When I was younger, I would teach anything that sat still long enough. Baby dolls, Beanie Babies, Barbies...you name it. I would bust out my CD collection and set them up as desks in my {class}room. I would usually have to separate Kenny Rogers and Faith Hill...

This "image" I had of what a 

p-e-r-f-e-c-t classroom looks like was that of a fairytale in my childish, unexperienced brain. I've spent some time in the classroom, seeing how the day progresses, how the teacher teaches, and how the students learn, and I couldn't be MORE FAR OFF from what my mind was picturing. 

I started my Junior Internship (Internship 1) at UCF this semester. I am so fortunate to have been BLESSED with a teacher who has a very similar heart as mine, and who is full of words of encouragement {and the naked truth} about all this "job" has to offer. I've also found how.many.people will openly tell you why public education {for lack of a better word} SUCKS and why I shouldn't choose this PASSION of mine as a PROFESSION. 

So, I got to thinking....and here are some reasons why I'm going to be a teacher {and the best darn one I can be}.

Reasons I Teach:

1. My heart doesn't know what else to do. I can't help it. I teach all the time. Whether I'm babysitting, tutoring, at church, at school...I am always looking for ways to teach someone something new. Whether I spend my days teaching in an "A" public school in the United States or in a dusty, open-aired hut in some Third World Country...I don't know these plans yet. But God does. He knows my heart and where it needs to be.

2. I am a lover of learning. I love to learn and experience new things. If there is something I don't know, I {drum roll please} Google it! I want to know the answer! I want to try new things! I just love it! And I'm always collecting brochures and taking from all the places I go for my future classroom.

3. I believe that education is the single most important tool necessary to change the world. Ghandi shares my belief in this statement. Education is THE key that opens so many doors to opportunity. I know that all students have the ability to achieve greatness, and education is the one thing that can help them get there. 

4. I am willing to fill the shoes. So many kids do not have the parental support coming from home. I am so thankful for the childhood I had, where my Mom stayed home and provided so much support and love to her children. There are too many children who simply do not have that. I'm willing to step in and love them. I will encourage them. I will hold their hand when they need it. I will be the launching pad for them to fly.

5. Job Flexibility. This is the bottom of the barrel, but is my most practical reason. Other than teach, my dreams include me being a Wife and a Mother someday. I would love the ability to spend time with my children, and if the finances allowed it, to stay home and raise my children just as I was. With teaching, the doors are opened to this.

Teaching is what I love to do, but WOAH Bessy... It is hard. 

So many people criticize you. So many people doubt your abilities. So many people annoy the heck out of you. It's a tough thing to do. Parents instantly think YOU are the problem, and are always the first ones to tell you how to do your job...yet, won't step foot in you classroom. It's not for sissies that's for sure. And you get paid about a penny an hour...

But none of these things are going to stop this sister from teaching!

I'm just so excited to see what teaching does for me in the next stages of my life. I'm so thankful for the awesome teachers, administrators, and fellow teacher friends I have had the pleasure of knowing along this journey. Your encouragement and thoughtful "well wishes" mean more than you know. 

I'm just your average twenty-something following her dreams.

Reaching distant shores...

I'm fascinated by water. Always have been. I learned to crawl in the low tide waters of St. Teresa Beach, where our family has a beach home. I could live on a boat, no problem. I love the water.

Water is a necessity in this life. The human body is made up of mostly water, as is the entire Earth. Water in its natural state is pure, cleansing, and refreshing. It's simply perfect. We need it's simple perfection to live. Water follows a specific pattern. Water flows in certain directions. Water can be found in 3 forms. {For my non-elementary education majors, the three forms are solid, liquid, and gas. Don't even get me started on the Water Cyle....there's a song for that! ;)}

Water in THREE forms. Water is pure. Water is mostly what I'm made of. Water is mostly what the world is made of. Water is perfect.

Now, I may be {a little} A LOT farfetched by saying that Water has extremely similar characteristics to that of God. Wow. I said that.

But come on, please tell me you see it too...

God in THREE forms. God is pure. God is mostly what I'm made of. God is mostly what the world is made of. God is perfect.

The reason mostly can be used in the presence of our God is that there is evil and darkness and sin that tries to grab hold of whatever it can. 

Sin wins daily. Darkness always seems to settle in when we least expect it.

But let me tell you, we are 

loved 

loved 

loved by a God who has CONQUERED this world. He is using me and YOU to be His light in this world. He is giving us the "Rock" necessary to make ripples in the water that travel to places you've never imagined. Ripples that change the world. 

The Bible tells us...

Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” John 7:38 ESV 

Rivers of living water. 

My mama always tells me that we are like the rocks in this big world of water. We never understand the impact we have, because we often cannot see the shores our ripples are touching. 

We serve a BIG God. He knows you by name. You are worthy. You are a beloved child of the Most High. His love for us never ceases. He has a specific plan for me and for you. He has given you the tools and power necessary to be His hands and feet in this world. 

Splash the distant shores with the beauty of His love and grace.

His grace is an ocean.

We are all sinking.

All my love. 

K

I'll leave you with a picture of my favorite boy playing in his favorite place (St. Teresa Beach). This is my black lab, Whaler, named after the "Boston Whaler" boat. (I told y'all that I love water.)

{I'm pretty sure this is what his Heaven looks like.}

Face to Face with a Lion.

I've never been face to face with a Lion. Literally, that is. But I've certainly faced the figurative lions in this life. 

Whenever I think about the lions I face, I always think about Daniel and the Lions Den. I can imagine the fear that Daniel felt when he realized he was surrounded by hungry lions. 

He didn't move. He couldn't breathe.

I know what that feels like. 

Paralyzing fear.

Not being able to breathe.

Why?

A lion that is called Cancer.

I woke up this morning feeling nervous and anxious. Nervous and anxious, because my dad has a PET scan New Years Eve at Sloan Kettering in New York City. This scan is going to let us see if that cancer has found residence in other parts of his body. He hasn't had a scan since August, when we first found out about this lion. 

This scan is necessary. 

This scan is nerve wracking.

But, I find myself going back to Daniel in the den. He was surrounded by darkness. He was surrounded by hungry lions. He was alone. He was scared. 

What Daniel did next makes the story such a good one.... 

Daniel got on his knees in the darkness of that cave and 

p r a y e d to God. 

He probably didn't speak. He simply poured out his heart. Daniel knew God was the only source of strength he could rely on during this time. He knew God would never forsake him.

This past weekend we had Christmas at Papa and Nana's in North Florida. It was such a good weekend. Full of love, laughter, food, presents, shooting guns, four wheeler rides, and front porch sitting. 

I kept thinking about how awesome it is to be surrounded by the ones you love and the ones who always have your back. 

I am so thankful for my family. 

  

I'm thankful for doctors who are keeping my Dad in good hands. I'm thankful for a God who has the whole world in His hands.

And if you're wondering about Daniel in that den full of hungry Lions.....

God shut the mouths of each one. 

On Tuesday, Dad will have his PET scan. On Thursday, we should know the results. 

I'll hold my breath. I'll drop to my knees. I'll pray for God to shut the mouth of the cancer lion. 

Because this is how we feel about cancer.

We are loaded. We are Kickin' Cancer.

Merry and Bright

As 2013 comes to a close, I think about all of the things that made this an extremely eventful year. A year of good laughs, eye-opening experiences, and some tears too...

1. I went to Haiti for the first time this year. I spent a week with the Mission of Hope Organization. I was blown away by the beauty of these precious people. I can't wait to go back for 2 WEEKS in 2014.

2. I directed Vacation Bible School at my church this past summer! Over 500 children, youth, and adults all loving and praising Jesus! It was an amazing week! {I'll be the Director again this year!!}

3. I spent a very fun weekend back in The Woodlands, Texas with some family friends I've grown up with! Nick and I have been friends for 20 years!

4. We found out my Dad has Metastatic Melanoma. {Not a good thing, and I refuse to Google it.} Cancer sucks. He has been sticking to a very strict diet and has lost a bunch of weight. I pray God has His merciful hand in all of this. Emilee created a benefit horse show "Kickin' Cancer" at her school, St. Andrews University, and it was a huge success! Lots of money raised for Cancer Research! 

5. I turned 22 this year!! {I don't know about you, but I feel old...} I celebrated with my sweet family and my Nana who turned 77 this year. Our birthdays are 55 years and 5 days apart.

6. Mama and I spent many nights at football games cheering for our favorite football player! We love #37!! Go Huskies!

7. Rhett's best friend, Sam, was diagnosed with Lymphoma! The Wainman family is like extended family! We are on #TeamWainman and we are all going to KICK CANCER to the curb!!

8. I am 2 semesters away from graduating from the University of Central Florida! I love Elementary Education and cannot wait to start my internship in 2014!! 

9. I LOVED cheering for my UCF KNIGHT boys as they kicked butt on the football field this year! Can't wait to watch them play in their first ever BCS Bowl Game in school history! Go Knights! #ChargeOn #BeatBaylor

10. I'm so thankful for all of my family and friends and the memories I've made in 2013!! 

Here's to 2014!! A year of more good memories, graduating from college, and experiencing all that this life has to offer! I hope that this holiday season reminds you to stop and thank God for all the things in your life! He is Good and His love for us never ends!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! 

Advent: The Coming of Christ

The season of Advent is here. The word Advent means "coming". Advent candles remind us that Christ came into a world of darkness, or sin, to be our light and that He will come again. Join me in reading scripture and the story that forever changed the course of history. Each night I will give you a continued part of the Christmas Story and a message of how the significance of that Christmas night is deeper than any manger scene. My prayer is that our hearts hold true to the meaning of Christmas, the point of it all, and the greatest gift ever given.

Day One

His name shall be called 'Immanuel', which means 'God with us.'

God sent the angel Gabriel to Mary in the village of Nazareth. The angel said, "Greetings! The Lord has blessed you and is with you."

You may hear "Jesus is the reason of the season" said this time of year. These words could not be more true. Jesus is the greatest gift ever given to this world. He came to us in a desperate, dark time. The world was drowning in sin and ignoring God in every possible way. God sent His Son to rescue us, when we needed it most. God could have sent us His Gift in a fiery blaze or a raging flood. He knew that would not capture our hearts. He chose a quiet, still night. He chose the little town of Bethlehem. He knew that there would be no room, still He sent His Gift. The insignificant arrival of our King is where the significance of His Glory begins. He is magnificent because of the manger. He is crowned our Savior because of the stable. He is the greatest gift ever given. He is God's only Son. He is Jesus. He is the reason for this season.

John 1:1-5

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ² He was with God in the beginning. ³ Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. ⁴ In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. ⁵ The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

Never let your prayin' knees get lazy.

The topic of "prayer" has been on my heart for many weeks now. I'm just now finding the right words to express what I've been feeling.

Praying is something that should come relatively easy out of my mouth. After all, a prayer is a conversation with my Heavenly Father.

Over these past weeks, it has been a challenge to pray. If I'm asked to pray, {whether it be at church, at the kitchen table, or the quiet darkness of my room} I instantly tense up and have to think about what I'm praying for. 

I especially cannot pray about or for my Dad and his cancer. 

{Seeing this written down, makes me feel so shameful and so unbelievably selfish.} 

Of all the things I should be laying down before my King, the health of my Daddy should certainly be one.

But it hurts to pray those words. 

Those words "Dad and his cancer" taste awful on my tongue.

And as I continue to battle this "praying predicament", I am beginning to realize that maybe this is the point.

This is the point because God felt the deepest of pains, by sacrificing His precious Son, for me.

This is the point because our King hung completely broken on the Cross, so that we would never experience brokenness from our God.

This is the point because God never told us this life would be easy, but that His Almigthy hand and love would never let go of my heart.

It's okay to not know what to say, because God hears our every plea and prayer.

Scripture says it so perfectly...

Romans 8:26

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

I've given my life to Jesus, so He knows the longing of my heart. He feels the pain I feel. He knows what my soul needs.

AND He knows what my Dad needs.

He Knows what the doctors need to do to beat this stupid cancer.

He knows what strength my family needs to continue to navigate this dark and winding road of fighting cancer.

There is a song by Amy Grant, entitled "Better Than a Hallelujah". This song explains that God understands and loves every pain we feel and every tear we cry. And that all these moments of brokenness are better than any joyous hallelujah. 

One line that is on my heart, and connects so beautifully with these words is...

"The silence when the words won't come, are better than a Hallelujah sometimes."

When my prayers end up in buckets of ugly tears, it's okay.

When I REALLY want to say these words out loud, but I choke, it's okay.

He knows my heart and all that burdens it. God knows that I want His beautiful presence to cover me every day. 

He knows, because He is God. 

And I am His.