If not there, then where?

I've grown up in church. I began attending when I was born, and my family has always been very active in the church. I was baptized in a Baptist Church in Texas, and was confirmed in a Methodist Church in Florida. I know all of the Bible stories that are taught in Sunday school, and I can dance-n-sing "Father Abraham" like no other. I know many Bible verses by heart and I can sing many hymns without the words in front of me. I've been a part of many activities in the church. 

Does any of this matter? Honestly, I don't believe so.

I'm not saying that the "church" does not matter. But rather, that the "church" is just a "group of people coming together for a time of fellowship by worshipping and serving God". Or so I thought. 

As I grew older, and a bit more wiser, I began exploring my faith at a deeper level. I began to see where I was getting my "faith food" from and how I was spending my time with Jesus. 

It wasn't in church. 

I didn't get my "faith food" from church.

My "faith food" has always come from my Mama. This woman, that I'm so blessed to call my mother, has given me every ounce of Godly love one could give. This woman knows God. This woman loves Jesus. This woman knows how to give mercy and grace when it is so not worthy of being given. She has shown me what it means to fall to your knees because there is no where else to go. My Mama is where my spiritual leadership and guidence comes from.

I didn't get my "Jesus time" in the pew.

The times where I feel the very closest to God is when I'm either quietly sitting outside, OR when I'm blasting the Christian radio station in my car. Depends on the day, and what's on my heart. I find moments throughout my day to read scripture. I take little moments and thank Jesus for the life I've been given through Him.

But it's never happened in a church.

I'll take that back. I've had one moment in a church where tears flowed endlessly and my knees could barely hold me, because I was so completely overwhelmed by the glory and power of the Holy Spirit. I was in Haiti, in church on the Mission of Hope campus. I was surrounded by fellow Americans and Haitians all singing and praising God in a magnitude I cannot explain in words. I was singing the Frecnh lyrics of songs I sing in English, but in a way that was overflowing my heart with so much passion and joy. A passion for loving Jesus that I've never felt before, and a joy that made me never want to stop singing. Ever. 

 

When I left Haiti, I began to think why? Why doesn't the church I attend worship in such a way?

In the Haitian church, I was surrounded by people who had nothing, yet, they seemed to have everything. I was surrounded by people who had to walk many miles to attend church, where in the United States we watch our clocks, because one hour is enough church. 

And one thing that nearly exploded my heart out of my chest, was that I could literally feel the presence of Jesus. It was as if I could reach out and hold His hand. I could feel Him in the warm, genuine embrace of faces I had never met. I could feel Him in the gentle hands of the girl who sat behind me and braided my hair during the sermon. I could feel Him in the soft, sweaty cheeks of the baby resting peacefully in my arms.

There was NO denying the fact that Jesus was in that place. 

Why don't I feel Jesus in my church on any given Sunday?

Maybe it's because I am surrounded by people who have everything they need, and then some. Maybe it's because we live such busy and hectic lives. Maybe it's because we have homes with huge flat screens and a pantry/fridge stocked full of food. Maybe it's because we are superficially in love with the idea of God and what it means to be a Christian.

I felt Jesus Christ in an open-aired Haitian church, because to them Jesus is everything. He's their salvation, their grace, their love, and their hope of a better tomorrow. 

Am I saying that going to church is a bad thing? No.

I'm simply saying that we need to, as Christians and Disciples of Jesus Christ, make sure we are not covering up Jesus with all the fluff that often comes with organized religion. I pray that our hearts are opened to the realization that God is, and was, and always will be. Regardless of what we make our vision of God to be. 

I pray that we have the same love, joy, peace, salvation, and hope in our Savior that my Haitian brothers and sisters have. 

All the glory is given to Him.

"For by the grace given to me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully."

~Romans 12:3-8