If not there, then where?

I've grown up in church. I began attending when I was born, and my family has always been very active in the church. I was baptized in a Baptist Church in Texas, and was confirmed in a Methodist Church in Florida. I know all of the Bible stories that are taught in Sunday school, and I can dance-n-sing "Father Abraham" like no other. I know many Bible verses by heart and I can sing many hymns without the words in front of me. I've been a part of many activities in the church. 

Does any of this matter? Honestly, I don't believe so.

I'm not saying that the "church" does not matter. But rather, that the "church" is just a "group of people coming together for a time of fellowship by worshipping and serving God". Or so I thought. 

As I grew older, and a bit more wiser, I began exploring my faith at a deeper level. I began to see where I was getting my "faith food" from and how I was spending my time with Jesus. 

It wasn't in church. 

I didn't get my "faith food" from church.

My "faith food" has always come from my Mama. This woman, that I'm so blessed to call my mother, has given me every ounce of Godly love one could give. This woman knows God. This woman loves Jesus. This woman knows how to give mercy and grace when it is so not worthy of being given. She has shown me what it means to fall to your knees because there is no where else to go. My Mama is where my spiritual leadership and guidence comes from.

I didn't get my "Jesus time" in the pew.

The times where I feel the very closest to God is when I'm either quietly sitting outside, OR when I'm blasting the Christian radio station in my car. Depends on the day, and what's on my heart. I find moments throughout my day to read scripture. I take little moments and thank Jesus for the life I've been given through Him.

But it's never happened in a church.

I'll take that back. I've had one moment in a church where tears flowed endlessly and my knees could barely hold me, because I was so completely overwhelmed by the glory and power of the Holy Spirit. I was in Haiti, in church on the Mission of Hope campus. I was surrounded by fellow Americans and Haitians all singing and praising God in a magnitude I cannot explain in words. I was singing the Frecnh lyrics of songs I sing in English, but in a way that was overflowing my heart with so much passion and joy. A passion for loving Jesus that I've never felt before, and a joy that made me never want to stop singing. Ever. 

 

When I left Haiti, I began to think why? Why doesn't the church I attend worship in such a way?

In the Haitian church, I was surrounded by people who had nothing, yet, they seemed to have everything. I was surrounded by people who had to walk many miles to attend church, where in the United States we watch our clocks, because one hour is enough church. 

And one thing that nearly exploded my heart out of my chest, was that I could literally feel the presence of Jesus. It was as if I could reach out and hold His hand. I could feel Him in the warm, genuine embrace of faces I had never met. I could feel Him in the gentle hands of the girl who sat behind me and braided my hair during the sermon. I could feel Him in the soft, sweaty cheeks of the baby resting peacefully in my arms.

There was NO denying the fact that Jesus was in that place. 

Why don't I feel Jesus in my church on any given Sunday?

Maybe it's because I am surrounded by people who have everything they need, and then some. Maybe it's because we live such busy and hectic lives. Maybe it's because we have homes with huge flat screens and a pantry/fridge stocked full of food. Maybe it's because we are superficially in love with the idea of God and what it means to be a Christian.

I felt Jesus Christ in an open-aired Haitian church, because to them Jesus is everything. He's their salvation, their grace, their love, and their hope of a better tomorrow. 

Am I saying that going to church is a bad thing? No.

I'm simply saying that we need to, as Christians and Disciples of Jesus Christ, make sure we are not covering up Jesus with all the fluff that often comes with organized religion. I pray that our hearts are opened to the realization that God is, and was, and always will be. Regardless of what we make our vision of God to be. 

I pray that we have the same love, joy, peace, salvation, and hope in our Savior that my Haitian brothers and sisters have. 

All the glory is given to Him.

"For by the grace given to me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully."

~Romans 12:3-8

Looking for Stars on a Cloudy Night

I love looking at stars. I love looking up at the sky to find the North Star, the Big Dipper, and the Little Dipper. I'm even guilty of having the "Star Finding" app for my iPad. I find a peace in my heart knowing that I serve a God that is BIG enough to make every star my eye can see. 

This post, however, has nothing to do with stars. Stick with me.

This post has everything to do with the "light" (Jesus) the stars provide to the "night" (world).

Do ya feel me?

I'll even take it one step further and say that the "light" is good and the "night" is bad.

I'm even going to compare the fact that "light" is white and the "night" is black.

This, my friends, is a Black & White world. Yes or No. Right or Wrong. This or That.

Many things have happened in these past weeks and months that have led me to write about this topic.

The topic of judgement.

Judgement that is found based on gender, race, religion, socioeconomic status, the school you attend, your athletic ability, the brand of your clothes...and I could go on forever. Either you are, or you are not. Either you are in, or you are out. 

I feel as though this world we are living in is so "clouded" with judgements being made, that we can no longer see the "starlight" that is trying to brighten the night. If you watch the news, you've probably heard of the Paula Dean debate and the Martin vs. Zimmerman Trial. (If not, Google it.) These are very different cases, and I refuse to go into specifics on either one, but they are BOTH about judgement.

It seems as if the Civil War is still happening today. But it's more than about racial inequality.

It's about people simply not LOVING each other for who they are regardless of ANYTHING. 

Let me tell you, LOVING is hard. Especially loving someone you don't feel deserves that love. 

Good thing that our God is Love. And our God loves each of us so much that He sent His only, precious Son to die on the Cross in our name. 

That's love. 

A love we so do not deserve.

God's love for all of us is why I fight every day to NOT judge and to LOVE. 

I fail. Multiple times. Every day. 

But I refuse to let this world change what I believe. I refuse to let the judgements made about me bring me down. I refuse to sit back and watch others keep being judged for no reason. I keep my eyes wide open on the "light" that always seems to shine through the cloudiest and darkest of nights. 

I look at the faces of children that continue to stay on my heart and mind. Children with dirty hands and shoeless feet and the whole world against them. They want LOVE. They need LOVE.   Jesus loves them. I love them. 

I'm going to keep on loving and shining the light of Jesus Christ into this dark world. It needs all the love it can get. I'm not saying it will be easy on you or your heart. It may end up broken. If my heart needs to break a billion times, then let it. Because all those breaks and cracks in my heart make more room for the love of God to seep through.

"As the Father has loved me, I have loved you. Abide in my love." -John 15:9

A moment in the sunshine...

Have you ever watched a big storm roll in off the ocean?

You can tell when it's coming. 

You can see the dark clouds in the distance. 

You can feel the cool air blowing in. 

You can see the slanting rain coming closer and closer.

You can't, however, always determine how long it will last, what it will bring, and what it will leave behind.

In Florida, storms can show up out of literally no where. In the summertime, the chance of rain is always 50%. It may come, it may not. I'm not even sure the weatherman knows some days...

Life is often like the days in the Florida summer. One moment the sun is shining, your hair is pulled up, and you're rocking some sweet shades....then out of no where the storm hits. You're drenched from head to toe, and your shades are too speckled with drops of water to see anything. Depending on how you react to the sudden dark clouds and rain is completely dependent on how your "day" will be. 

You could curse the skies and complain that your day is ruined. OR you could rejoice in the rain and the cool air it leaves behind and the life it brings to this world.

Your outlook on this storm can make you or break you.

This, my friends, is life. Every sunny day, and every dark sky that brings rain. You'll find yourself in situations where life is all sunshine and smiles, and other times when the wind and rain leaves you cold and wet.

As much as these storms in life seem to dampen our spirits and bring us down, I believe that God gives us these storms for a reason. 

Our God is Sovereign. 

Our God has a steadfast love for each of us. He knows what we want and what we need. 

One of my favorite songs, gives sweet words to remember....

"You're the reason for every good thing, every heartbeat. Every day we get to breathe. You're the reason for anything that lasts, every second chance

Every laugh, life is so sweet.

You're the reason for every good thing, every good thing!"

I believe that all good things come from Jesus. I believe we can laugh and smile and sing when things are good. 

But let me tell you this... Our God is still good. Even when things may not seem so good. 

I choose to rejoice in the storm and dance in the rain. My God will not forsake me. My God is jealous for me. I know nothing of this world will ever change that.

If the rain and wind brings my heart closer to my King, then let it pour.

If being drenched in rain gives me a better understanding of God's grace and love and mercy, then I never want to be dry. Ever.

I thank Jesus for the rain and the pain, and I thank Him for the Cross He took in my name. The Cross that bridges the gap from this world to the arms of an Almighty God.

I rejoice in the rain and in the moments of  sparkling sunshine, because our God is good and He deserves ALL the glory.

"This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

1. Joshua 1:9